Tuesday, December 16, 2008

life after beckam

here are a few more pictures of life after beckam for us tolman family :) we are loving life, and he seems to be enjoying his time with us too!

this is beckam's make shift bed while we are living at my parents for the next few weeks - haha - he actually sleeps pretty good in carson's old laundry basket :) he loves sucking dad's finger and sleeping with his hands by his face and winking and spending time with his new family, and we just love every move he makes of course!

he's here!!!

sorry it took me so long to get to this my blogger friends, but i've been a little tied up :) our little guy finally arrived - yay!!! beckam richard marshall tolman was born to us on dec 11th at 3:06am and weighed in at 6lbs1oz and was 20in long. it is the craziest thing to be sitting next to my son right now - my son....weird - and to be blogging about him finally being in our family after carrying him around for 9 months, and it is awesome! i know i'm the mom, but he is seriously so perfect and so much fun and everything i ever dreamed of and more! here is a little of the story of our lives the past week or so.......

we went in to be induced on the 9th last week (tuesday), and i got all hooked up to the monitors, and dr.koegler was there to get things started, and then we got the bad news that things got busy and there were a few women who hadn't had their babies yet who they thought would have, so we got sent away with directions to call back in a bit to see if anything opened up. we both had a bad feeling about it and were right when we called back and got the new direction to head home and wait for the call that there was room at the inn for us. so, we went home and waited......painful i tell ya. we were both so anxious, and when we got the call the next day around 4pm, we were ecstatic! we hurried and packed up and headed in, and they for real induced me this time.

i got the 1st gel induction at 520pm, and then we did some laps around the atrium of the hospital and visited my cousin and his new little baby, holli to try and get things going. i started feeling tinges of pain about 8ish which was i surprised about cuz i have heard inductions cause labor to be long and hard. i didn't think anything was going to happen for a while. i was definitely having contractions around 830, but they weren't all that bad. dust and i visited with my parents and read some magazines, and dr.koegler came back in for a delivery around 930, so he gave me some more gel and said nothing was really progressing yet. by 1030, i was in pain for sure, and i was having some back labor, so the nurse talked me into taking some ativan to "help me sleep." ya right! it didn't even touch me, and we headed to the shower for a bit to try and help that back labor. it worked ok, and it was nice to not be sitting in a bed, and when the doc was back at 1130, he checked me and found i was 3-4cm dilated, so he broke my water. i was so super excited to be progressing, but i didn't know that the contractions got so much worse after the water was broken! i felt ok though cuz dr.koegler said i could have my epidural when i was 3-4cm - woohoo! the anathesiologist was even at the hospital, and it looked like everything was working out swell and according to plan........not so much though.

my contractions kept getting longer and harder, and no giant needle was headed my way. they gave me morphine to tide me over - did absolutely nothing - and by the time they moved me into the delivery suite, i was practically rolling on the bed in pain. at about 130, i felt pressure and like i needed to push, and when the nurse checked my doubtfully, she said it was time to push. i remember looking at dust and saying sadly - this wasn't the plan. where are my drugs? anyway......no drugs besides the useless morphine and after an hour or so of pushing, our little guy came out at 306. his heart rate was dropping as i was pushing, so they had to give me an episiotomy and found that the cord was around his neck. he was super white when he came out and wasn't really breathing all that well, so the cleaned up him, and i got to hold him for about 1.26 minutes, and then he was off to the NICU to get some oxygen and to be monitored. i was really sad i couldn't have him with my right away, but i was glad no one was panicking and that they said he would be ok. it was 7 hours before they brought him to our room, and i waited anxiously while dust had a little snooze. when we got him though, life was complete, and i was in love :) life seriously can't get much better than that moment.

anyway......that's my little (or big - sorry!) labor story for you. i was super duper nervous about it before, and i still can't believe that i didn't get my drugs, but it's kinda nice to know that i can do it and that i made it through and lived to tell the tale. life is so great now. i'm sore of course but feeling pretty good about life. beckam is such a good baby - only really cries when he needs something, and his cry is a pretty quiet one too (for now anyway). he makes us smile all the time, and there hasn't been too many minutes go by where someone isn't holding him :) i love being a mom so much! i love changing his diapers and settling him down and putting him to bed, and we're working on the nursing thing still, but we'll get those kinks ironed out soon enough too. life is just awesome, and i'm so glad he's here, and oh.....dust is amazing by the way. he loves being a dad so incredibly much, and he was awesome through the labor and has been amazing with getting up with us at night and doing all the daddy things that guys do. we love being parents, and we love little beckam, and there is my report blogger world :)

beckam right after sliding out :)

me and my 1.26 minutes with my little guy

us with him in the NICU - no holding, but we could touch him at least

proud papa

beckam - our little stud :)

Monday, December 8, 2008


holy anxiety! i'm gonna be a stinkin mom tomorrow if everything works out according to plan, and that is just craziness! i can't believe that as of tomorrow, i will forever and ever be a mom :) i'm so excited for that title and for that responsibility and for the joy that it will bring us, and i just can't believe that the day is finally here. i'm the oldest and always babysat growing up, and i swear i've been ready for this for a long time, but somehow i still don't feel completely ready! i'm so stoked though and still a little nervous of the unknown but totally excited, and i just wanted to get all of that off my chest! wish me luck y'all!

Friday, December 5, 2008

hard workin man

so, i just went downstairs to grab something and saw this.....

how cute can a hard working studious husband be! dust has been working soooo hard studying for all of his finals, especially with the baby coming on tuesday, and i just really appreciate his efforts. he amazes me with his motivation and determination when it comes to school, and i have no doubts that he will be successful because of it. he has his little corner set up downstairs with a space heater and a study tennis ball that he can bounce around when he gets some ADD goin on and some music, and that's where he spends a lot of his time these days. obviously, he's working hard cuz i could never fall asleep on a desk like that no matter how tired i was! haha

Thursday, December 4, 2008

WHAT?? Tuesday??

ok, so this baby is coming pretty darned quick for us, and i just need to release some pent up anxiousness, and i thought - hey, that's what blogs are for! so, my original due date was december 8th, and i felt good about that. i didn't feel so great when i went in for my ultrasound, and the lady changed my due date to december 15th. i kinda liked the idea of earlier december, but what can you do really. so, i decided to stick with the 8th when i told people my due date in hopes that positive thinking would help this baby arrive a little early. after all, december is kind of a stressful month for me - a new baby and moving to portland along with christmas and family and all of that fun but busy stuff that happens.

anyway, a month or so ago, i decided to talk to my doctor about when he would induce me if i was overdue, and he said that he's a pushover and would try to limit my stress and induce me on the 15th. i was so excited, but i was even more overjoyed when he realized that he was leaving on christmas holidays on the 14th :) he then changed the possible induction date to the 12th because he likes to deliver "his" babies and didn't want to be gone on holidays for our little guy's arrival, and that was fine by me! i left the office smiling from ear to ear. so, dust and i have been counting on having this baby on the 12th for about a month or so now since most women don't have their babies early, and we have been feeling good about it.

so...i go in yesterday for my now weekly appointments with my doctor, and he checked me, and we talked a little about the induction. friday the 12th was what i had in mind of course, so when he came in and asked if tuesday would work, i didn't understand. i asked - work for what? - and he explained that things were busy later in the week so the 9th was better for my induction. now, i know it's only 3 days, but i was in disbelief. i said that was fine of course and then hurried out of there to call dust and my family to report that at that same time next week, i would be a mom! (well hopefully - if everything works out right anyway) isn't that crazy? i'm gonna be a mom in 5 more sleeps as long as the hospital isn't too busy with deliveries. i felt, well still feel, nervous, anxious, freaked out, but totally excited and pumped too. i've wanted to be a mom for a long time, and i will be by next week! i know that inductions aren't always great, but i trust my doctor, and hopefully our 1st baby's birthday will be december 9, 2008 :) yay!

Monday, December 1, 2008

tis the season

I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!! it's seriously one of my favorite times of year :) i can't get enough christmas music or christmas decorations or just talk of christmas, and i love that it's december 1st today! our family usually decorates midway through december just cuz we get a real tree from up in the mountains, and it usually takes some time to get our schedules all right to get us all up there together for the annual trip. this year though, we got some friends to get us a tree, and i am proud and very happy to say that it is up at this very moment, so we get to celebrate christmas in a house that looks christmasy for the whole month of december - yay! we go charlie brown style and are proud of it!

we decorated last night and videotaped some of our uusal dancing and singing and silly arguing about what should go where for cars down in arkansas. we love decorating around this house, and mom keeps racking up the decorations year after year so that we don't even have enough space in our larger than life house to put everything up, and it's awesome!

dust and i love decorating too, but we are living with my family this year, so we weren't exactly sure how it was going to work. well when our friends went to get christmas trees, i asked them to get 2 for our family - one for our usual upstairs location and one for mine and dust's little basement dwelling downstairs :) i know it's silly to have a christmas on 2 floors of the same house, but we set our own little tree up last night in a corner in our bedroom, and i love it!!!! it was so fun to turn the lights on while dust read and i wrote in my journal last night, and we have our little advent calendar and stockings hung on the wall with care and some other little decorations up too. we love our little christmas room, and i can't wait to feed the baby by the tree and to bring him home to a house full of christmas spirit. only 24 more sleeps!

cankle time

ok....sooo embarrassing kinda funny too - i totally have cankles! with almost exaclty 2 weeks left til the big day, my ankles decided to start retaining a little water i guess cuz i was painting my toenails last thursday and noticed that the my ankle bone was slowly disappearing - i was totally mortified! of course, i hoped that it was just from my long day on my feet the day before, but my "cankles" as people call them have continued to make me either laugh or complain (depending on the mood of course) every time i look down at my feet. they get better and then worse depending on what i do each day, but i am definitely a cankler now as you can see below....hideous i tell you!!!

i know it's from the pregnancy, and i still feel ok with how everything has gone for me, but i always hoped that my ankle bones would never disappear, so it's taken some getting used to :) i'm down to less than 2 weeks now though, and i'm sure i can handle putting my feet up every once in a while, so all is well! Just thought that this little blog might make those who have never experienced cankles thankful and those who know exactly what i'm talking about thankful that they're not going through it at this very moment!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

prego pics

ok....so i really have never understood why people choose to get professional pictures taken of themselves when they're pregnant (aka fat). i mean, don't get me wrong, i have seen some super duper cute prego pics before, and i think other people can pull them off, but i never thought of myself as someone who would ever agree to get them taken or to put them on my blog. i mean really....who tries to get cute pictures taken 37 weeks along in the pregnancy and getting fat adventure???

well, we have a friend who takes really cute pictures, and dust insisted that i get some taken cuz he thought i would regret it if i didn't. so, i set up the appointment and tried to find something cute to wear and burned my forehead with the curling iron the morning of and got some prego pics taken. i can't say yet that i think i would have regretted if i didn't, but i'm the 1st to admit that some of them turned out quite fun and kinda cute! so, here is me at 37 weeks :)

and here are a few with me and my excited dad-to-be hubby. i made him come for a few too since he made me get them in the first place!

so....sorry about all the pics, but in the end, my advice to any pregnant women who have questioned taking fat pictures of themselves just like me is - just do it! you never know if they'll turn out cute, and it's kinda fun to have some pictures that aren't taken by my little sister around our messy house to remember my pregnancy by :)

Thursday, November 20, 2008

where we're supposed to be...

we are soooo blessed! i've taken some time these past few days to reflect on our current situation and what the future holds for us and how our past has led us here, and wow - i am so overwhelmed by the blessings in our life!

when i married dust, he was thinking pharmacy or teaching career-wise, and i was as supportive as can be. when he changed his mind and started thinking chiropractic or physiotherapy, it seemed a better fit for both of us, and we were excited about the opportunites for dust school-wise and for us travel-wise as we wouldn't be staying in lethbridge for very long. not too long ago, dust decided that he was going to join the chiropractic profession, and we started looking at options for schools. because i'm such a home body and because we are both sooo close with our families, my 1st priority was to stay close to home. well, with only 1 school in all of canada - toronto - dust researched schools in the states. he really liked the idea of the school in texas to begin with, and i would follow my husband wherever he went, but i was not feelin it! i wanted to be closer and cooler, and that's when portland started looking pretty darned good to me :) it's the closest to home and has as good reputation, and that was good enough for me!

long story short...i was loving the portland idea. dust's sister lacey and her husband were applying to chiropractic schools too, and they were more feeling toronto although they applied to portland just in case. good news - aaron got into both schools. even better news - they chose portland! so....we applied to portland because it was the 1st deadline to come up and because it was our 1st choice, and not 2 weeks later and before any other deadline came up good news for us - dust got accepted!!!

so, here is where the blessings have been poured down on us. first of all, my husband's hard work in school paid off, and he was accepted to the 1st school he applied to. then, we are going to be living in a beautiful city that's only a 12 hour drive away from our families, and they just keep coming....we will be living close to lacey and aaron. we got pregnant after 7 months of trying just in time to have the baby before we move to the states with crappy health care. we're going to be parents! we have been able to live with my family and not only save some money for school but get to spend some quality time with them and dust's family these past few months. we were able to sort out our financial situation (which was not easy!) for school. we sold our car, and i know the list could keep going and going, but the last and bestest blessing of the day is that we now have somewhere to live in that beautiful city! until tuesday, we just had our fingers crossed, but lacey called and gave us the amazing news that someone in their complex gave their notice, and we will be the proud tenants of #49 sandstone manor - not even 1/2 block walk from lacey and aaron and super close to the school - woohoo :)

basically, i just love knowing that we're on the right track, and with all of the blessings that we have received in having things work out so well for portland and school and family and such, we must be heading in the right direction, and i'm very excited about it! so....long blog i know, but i'm just so blessed and had to mention it! here are some pics of our place in portland and just over a month til we actually live there :)

Saturday, November 15, 2008

getting excited!

holy smokes! me and my husband will have a little baby in less than 4 weeks and hopefully 3! i cannot believe how time has flown by and that we seriously have under a month left until this little guy arrives. i'm getting a little nervous and super excited, and i'm just in awe that time has gone by so fast. my belly is definitely growing, and there is no doubt that i'm pregnant and ready to have this little guy. here is me around 36ish weeks :)

we're starting to accumulate quite an array of clothes for our little buddy too :) why are little shoes and clothes so much cuter than big adult stuff? i have no idea, but we just love buying stuff for this little guy! here are a few of our favorites and the ones at the top of our pile cuz i didn't feel like folding everything again...

anyway, life is still good thankfully. i've been super congested lately, and i'm not sleeping overly well at all, but i'm gonna be a mom, so it's all worth it! i love to see him making waves in my belly, and i love his little hiccups, and i'm going to love when he's moving aroudn in my arms instead of my tummy too! i can't wait to hold my little guy and to bring a little life into this world, and the time is getting closer and closer - yay!

my singer & rag quilts

ok...so i've been meaning to post about my new sewing machine and my 1st sewing projects for quite some time now but just haven't gotten around to it. well, it's a windy saturday, and i'm sitting at home alone, so i thought what better time than now! anyway, when i decided to take some time off before our little guy arrives, i thought it might be a good idea to buy a sewing machine so that i wouldn't get too bored. i hmm'd and haw'd about it for a while and then finally decided on which one i wanted and ordered it - the singer 4210. i have never sewed before and really had no idea what i was doing at all, but my mom and i figured out how to work the thing, and i've become a little bit obsessed ever since :)

debbie depew has been my teacher thus far, and she started me with rag quilts. (she's amazing by the way!) i wish i could say i've become a sewing extrordinaire, but these little blankets are super easy and actually kinda fun to make too. in fact, i've made 3 since the arrival of my singer, and i just love them! they take some time with all of the cutting and trying to line up the seams, but i just think they're so cute, and we found some cute material, and it's safe to say that our little guy will never go without being warm and cozy this winter!

i quite enjoy my sewing hobby, and i'm working on some different quilts now that i've conquered the rag type. hopefully, i can find some cute patterns and understand them well enough to make some new ones now :) wish me luck!

Friday, November 7, 2008


first of all - isn't my husband so cute!?! i didn't even know he knew how to blog, and all of a sudden there's a post that i didn't write and a super cute one at that! love you too friend!

ok....so it's past midnight, and i just got home from whit's baby shower for little finn who is absolutely adorable by the way, and i just wanted to say how much i love and appreciate a girls night out every once in a while. my husband is soooo amazing and is my bestest friend in the whole wide world, but a girl needs her girls too. it's kind of refreshing to share weird hormonal stories and to talk openly about things only girls care about and only girls experience and to eat girly food and to spend time talking about babies and kids and pregnancies and home life and to actually enjoy it :) i just really love "my girls" in my life and just really enjoyed tonight! so, thanks to jill for sending out the invites and to the makers of all the good food and to whit for having a baby and a shower.....and thanks to all of the girls in my life. i couldn't do it without you, and here's to many a GNO's to come!

here are the 1st few pics that i found of me and some of my girls.....good times!