Tuesday, December 16, 2008

life after beckam

here are a few more pictures of life after beckam for us tolman family :) we are loving life, and he seems to be enjoying his time with us too!

this is beckam's make shift bed while we are living at my parents for the next few weeks - haha - he actually sleeps pretty good in carson's old laundry basket :) he loves sucking dad's finger and sleeping with his hands by his face and winking and spending time with his new family, and we just love every move he makes of course!

he's here!!!

sorry it took me so long to get to this my blogger friends, but i've been a little tied up :) our little guy finally arrived - yay!!! beckam richard marshall tolman was born to us on dec 11th at 3:06am and weighed in at 6lbs1oz and was 20in long. it is the craziest thing to be sitting next to my son right now - my son....weird - and to be blogging about him finally being in our family after carrying him around for 9 months, and it is awesome! i know i'm the mom, but he is seriously so perfect and so much fun and everything i ever dreamed of and more! here is a little of the story of our lives the past week or so.......

we went in to be induced on the 9th last week (tuesday), and i got all hooked up to the monitors, and dr.koegler was there to get things started, and then we got the bad news that things got busy and there were a few women who hadn't had their babies yet who they thought would have, so we got sent away with directions to call back in a bit to see if anything opened up. we both had a bad feeling about it and were right when we called back and got the new direction to head home and wait for the call that there was room at the inn for us. so, we went home and waited......painful i tell ya. we were both so anxious, and when we got the call the next day around 4pm, we were ecstatic! we hurried and packed up and headed in, and they for real induced me this time.

i got the 1st gel induction at 520pm, and then we did some laps around the atrium of the hospital and visited my cousin and his new little baby, holli to try and get things going. i started feeling tinges of pain about 8ish which was i surprised about cuz i have heard inductions cause labor to be long and hard. i didn't think anything was going to happen for a while. i was definitely having contractions around 830, but they weren't all that bad. dust and i visited with my parents and read some magazines, and dr.koegler came back in for a delivery around 930, so he gave me some more gel and said nothing was really progressing yet. by 1030, i was in pain for sure, and i was having some back labor, so the nurse talked me into taking some ativan to "help me sleep." ya right! it didn't even touch me, and we headed to the shower for a bit to try and help that back labor. it worked ok, and it was nice to not be sitting in a bed, and when the doc was back at 1130, he checked me and found i was 3-4cm dilated, so he broke my water. i was so super excited to be progressing, but i didn't know that the contractions got so much worse after the water was broken! i felt ok though cuz dr.koegler said i could have my epidural when i was 3-4cm - woohoo! the anathesiologist was even at the hospital, and it looked like everything was working out swell and according to plan........not so much though.

my contractions kept getting longer and harder, and no giant needle was headed my way. they gave me morphine to tide me over - did absolutely nothing - and by the time they moved me into the delivery suite, i was practically rolling on the bed in pain. at about 130, i felt pressure and like i needed to push, and when the nurse checked my doubtfully, she said it was time to push. i remember looking at dust and saying sadly - this wasn't the plan. where are my drugs? anyway......no drugs besides the useless morphine and after an hour or so of pushing, our little guy came out at 306. his heart rate was dropping as i was pushing, so they had to give me an episiotomy and found that the cord was around his neck. he was super white when he came out and wasn't really breathing all that well, so the cleaned up him, and i got to hold him for about 1.26 minutes, and then he was off to the NICU to get some oxygen and to be monitored. i was really sad i couldn't have him with my right away, but i was glad no one was panicking and that they said he would be ok. it was 7 hours before they brought him to our room, and i waited anxiously while dust had a little snooze. when we got him though, life was complete, and i was in love :) life seriously can't get much better than that moment.

anyway......that's my little (or big - sorry!) labor story for you. i was super duper nervous about it before, and i still can't believe that i didn't get my drugs, but it's kinda nice to know that i can do it and that i made it through and lived to tell the tale. life is so great now. i'm sore of course but feeling pretty good about life. beckam is such a good baby - only really cries when he needs something, and his cry is a pretty quiet one too (for now anyway). he makes us smile all the time, and there hasn't been too many minutes go by where someone isn't holding him :) i love being a mom so much! i love changing his diapers and settling him down and putting him to bed, and we're working on the nursing thing still, but we'll get those kinks ironed out soon enough too. life is just awesome, and i'm so glad he's here, and oh.....dust is amazing by the way. he loves being a dad so incredibly much, and he was awesome through the labor and has been amazing with getting up with us at night and doing all the daddy things that guys do. we love being parents, and we love little beckam, and there is my report blogger world :)

beckam right after sliding out :)

me and my 1.26 minutes with my little guy

us with him in the NICU - no holding, but we could touch him at least

proud papa

beckam - our little stud :)

Monday, December 8, 2008


holy anxiety! i'm gonna be a stinkin mom tomorrow if everything works out according to plan, and that is just craziness! i can't believe that as of tomorrow, i will forever and ever be a mom :) i'm so excited for that title and for that responsibility and for the joy that it will bring us, and i just can't believe that the day is finally here. i'm the oldest and always babysat growing up, and i swear i've been ready for this for a long time, but somehow i still don't feel completely ready! i'm so stoked though and still a little nervous of the unknown but totally excited, and i just wanted to get all of that off my chest! wish me luck y'all!

Friday, December 5, 2008

hard workin man

so, i just went downstairs to grab something and saw this.....

how cute can a hard working studious husband be! dust has been working soooo hard studying for all of his finals, especially with the baby coming on tuesday, and i just really appreciate his efforts. he amazes me with his motivation and determination when it comes to school, and i have no doubts that he will be successful because of it. he has his little corner set up downstairs with a space heater and a study tennis ball that he can bounce around when he gets some ADD goin on and some music, and that's where he spends a lot of his time these days. obviously, he's working hard cuz i could never fall asleep on a desk like that no matter how tired i was! haha

Thursday, December 4, 2008

WHAT?? Tuesday??

ok, so this baby is coming pretty darned quick for us, and i just need to release some pent up anxiousness, and i thought - hey, that's what blogs are for! so, my original due date was december 8th, and i felt good about that. i didn't feel so great when i went in for my ultrasound, and the lady changed my due date to december 15th. i kinda liked the idea of earlier december, but what can you do really. so, i decided to stick with the 8th when i told people my due date in hopes that positive thinking would help this baby arrive a little early. after all, december is kind of a stressful month for me - a new baby and moving to portland along with christmas and family and all of that fun but busy stuff that happens.

anyway, a month or so ago, i decided to talk to my doctor about when he would induce me if i was overdue, and he said that he's a pushover and would try to limit my stress and induce me on the 15th. i was so excited, but i was even more overjoyed when he realized that he was leaving on christmas holidays on the 14th :) he then changed the possible induction date to the 12th because he likes to deliver "his" babies and didn't want to be gone on holidays for our little guy's arrival, and that was fine by me! i left the office smiling from ear to ear. so, dust and i have been counting on having this baby on the 12th for about a month or so now since most women don't have their babies early, and we have been feeling good about it.

so...i go in yesterday for my now weekly appointments with my doctor, and he checked me, and we talked a little about the induction. friday the 12th was what i had in mind of course, so when he came in and asked if tuesday would work, i didn't understand. i asked - work for what? - and he explained that things were busy later in the week so the 9th was better for my induction. now, i know it's only 3 days, but i was in disbelief. i said that was fine of course and then hurried out of there to call dust and my family to report that at that same time next week, i would be a mom! (well hopefully - if everything works out right anyway) isn't that crazy? i'm gonna be a mom in 5 more sleeps as long as the hospital isn't too busy with deliveries. i felt, well still feel, nervous, anxious, freaked out, but totally excited and pumped too. i've wanted to be a mom for a long time, and i will be by next week! i know that inductions aren't always great, but i trust my doctor, and hopefully our 1st baby's birthday will be december 9, 2008 :) yay!

Monday, December 1, 2008

tis the season

I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!! it's seriously one of my favorite times of year :) i can't get enough christmas music or christmas decorations or just talk of christmas, and i love that it's december 1st today! our family usually decorates midway through december just cuz we get a real tree from up in the mountains, and it usually takes some time to get our schedules all right to get us all up there together for the annual trip. this year though, we got some friends to get us a tree, and i am proud and very happy to say that it is up at this very moment, so we get to celebrate christmas in a house that looks christmasy for the whole month of december - yay! we go charlie brown style and are proud of it!

we decorated last night and videotaped some of our uusal dancing and singing and silly arguing about what should go where for cars down in arkansas. we love decorating around this house, and mom keeps racking up the decorations year after year so that we don't even have enough space in our larger than life house to put everything up, and it's awesome!

dust and i love decorating too, but we are living with my family this year, so we weren't exactly sure how it was going to work. well when our friends went to get christmas trees, i asked them to get 2 for our family - one for our usual upstairs location and one for mine and dust's little basement dwelling downstairs :) i know it's silly to have a christmas on 2 floors of the same house, but we set our own little tree up last night in a corner in our bedroom, and i love it!!!! it was so fun to turn the lights on while dust read and i wrote in my journal last night, and we have our little advent calendar and stockings hung on the wall with care and some other little decorations up too. we love our little christmas room, and i can't wait to feed the baby by the tree and to bring him home to a house full of christmas spirit. only 24 more sleeps!

cankle time

ok....sooo embarrassing kinda funny too - i totally have cankles! with almost exaclty 2 weeks left til the big day, my ankles decided to start retaining a little water i guess cuz i was painting my toenails last thursday and noticed that the my ankle bone was slowly disappearing - i was totally mortified! of course, i hoped that it was just from my long day on my feet the day before, but my "cankles" as people call them have continued to make me either laugh or complain (depending on the mood of course) every time i look down at my feet. they get better and then worse depending on what i do each day, but i am definitely a cankler now as you can see below....hideous i tell you!!!

i know it's from the pregnancy, and i still feel ok with how everything has gone for me, but i always hoped that my ankle bones would never disappear, so it's taken some getting used to :) i'm down to less than 2 weeks now though, and i'm sure i can handle putting my feet up every once in a while, so all is well! Just thought that this little blog might make those who have never experienced cankles thankful and those who know exactly what i'm talking about thankful that they're not going through it at this very moment!